Do Powerful Women Have to Be Likable? (And Why Are We Still Asking This?)

Let’s just get to the point:

Men in power get called confident. Women in power? They get called intimidating.

It’s 2025, and we’re still asking powerful women to do something that’s rarely demanded of men: be likable while being successful. Be a boss—but not bossy. Be assertive—but not too much. Lead—but smile while doing it.

So here’s the question:

Do powerful women have to be likable to succeed… or are we still stuck trying to soften female power so it feels “safe” to others?

The Likability Tax

For women, power is rarely just about competence—it’s also about perception. Studies (and, let’s be real, real life) show that women are judged more harshly for ambition. When we speak up, we’re “too much.” When we lead, we’re “hard to work with.” And heaven forbid we have strong boundaries—now we’re cold.

There’s this invisible “likability tax” women pay just for taking up space confidently.

But Here’s the Catch:

Likability is subjective.

You can do everything “right” and still be disliked—by someone uncomfortable with how bright you shine.

So maybe the goal isn’t to be likable.

Maybe the goal is to be respected. Self-assured. True to yourself.

Power Isn’t Always Pretty—and That’s Okay

We’ve glamorized the “girlboss” era with pastel quotes and productivity planners, but real power isn’t always wrapped in a bow. It’s messy. It’s complex. And sometimes it comes with pushback.

But that pushback? That means you’re doing something bold. Something visible. Something people can’t ignore.

Final Thought:

You don’t have to shrink yourself to be liked.

You don’t have to soften your ambition to be accepted.

You don’t have to dim your light for someone else’s comfort.

Be kind. Be fair. But don’t confuse likability with value.

Your power isn’t a problem—it’s the whole point.